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Otter (Dis) Beliefs
or, here's where I stand
When babies are born, part of being a parent is to "fix" things. Changing diapers and feeding babies are ways of fixing an uncomfortable situation. Teaching them to talk is our way of fixing the problem of mis-communication, and teaching them to walk is a way to fix their inability to tele-transport into our arms. Picking up a child and holding them dearly is a way to fix a sense of insecurity. As the child grows, parents still fix things whether it's with a band-aid, Vic's vapo-rub, a warm heating pad, chicken soup or bananas, rice and apple sauce. We fix, as best we can, when a child is hurt and alone, seemingly rejected by all when we hug them and hold them and as they get older, try to explain to them why people behave the way they do - again, to the best of our ability.As they grow into adolescence, we have to let them test their judgment by letting them fix things on their own. They begin to experiment with friends and get hurt - can they fix that? They make decisions concerning schools or teachers or classmates - can they fix that? We let them experiment with social, even opposite/same-sex relationships and yes, sometimes they make mistakes - how do they fix that? At times, you find yourself stepping in to fix the situation. At other times, you find yourself stepping back, letting the young adult fix the situation, even if you know it's not the best fix, or not the fix you would have chosen, but in order for a child to learn their own strengths and weaknesses, sometimes a parent has to let them do their own fix and then talk to them after the fact, especially if it needs to be adapted to a new situation.
As young adults, our children have to make all kinds of life-changing decisions, from post-secondary education, careers, geographical relocation, to spouses, children, and finances. As they move from one to the other, it becomes apparent that the young adult doesn't always consult with the parent when it's time to fix something and all a parent can do is sit back, sit on their hands, hold their breath and hope that the child has learned the right coping mechanisms and acquired the right skills to fix a bad situation. And then, finally, when all appears to be right with the world and the parent actually has a time to breath a little more, something happens and you just don't know what or if there is anything you could or should do in order to help your child "FIX" a situation.


I have to admit, this is by far the toughest part of my role as parent at this point in my life. It's hard for a parent to sit back and watch a child struggle with major decisions and major hurts. It's hard to keep quiet when a child, even though they're an adult, hurts with some unexplained pain. In the past, when they were much younger, I'd jump in with both feet and say "no, you can't do that, this is the way to fix this - you should of learned that long ago" - but I can't, and even when I'm asked for advise, it has to be just that - asked for and it has to be advise, not an answer, not a dictum and definitely not a demand. As a parent, I still want to "fix" things. Sometimes, I can't.
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I've been a runner for almost 14.5 years. I usually average 3 six mile runs and 2 four mile runs within a seven day week. For years, I've been hearing about "changing up your workout to maximize your benefits". I've also been told, that as an aging runner, I need to start strengthening my "core".
The LA Fitness that I workout at regularly, offers a yoga class 3 times a week, so I thought I'd add it to my routine - in between a couple of my running days. I have taken a yoga class - way back in the 70's and I've practiced it on and off with a couple of books that were recommended to me.
Well, this class KICKED MY A**!
I mean 60 minutes of bending, twisting, and balancing in ways that I couldn't of imagined existed. If sweat is any indication of how thorough a workout is, this workout was the best - I mean clothes so soaked that they stuck to my body and sweat running down my arms and legs. I was drenched.
I can't wait until I wake up tomorrow morning and feel some sore muscles.
I will be back for more...... Does that make me a masochist?
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Reently, while watching a movie on TCM, bjarvis walked in, stopped, watched a couple of minutes and then asked:


bjarvis: Should I know what this is?
me: OMG! YES, you're gay aren't you? It's THE movie with both Barbra Streisand AND Robert Redford, both, together.
bjarvis: Well, the only movie of hers that I can think of is "Funny Girl" and that one where she plays a Jewish boy.
me: That was "Yentl".  This is THE movie with Robert Redford and Barbra Streisand, both, together, IN BED, I mean a gay man's wildest fantasy.
bjarvis: Does it have a name?
me: "The Way We Were"
bjarvis I've heard of it.......
me: OMG, Hand it over. I want your gay card.

Maybe it's because he's Canadian.

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This is rapidly becoming my favorite African Violet. I hope I can keep it alive and blooming. 







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Which movie always makes you cry?

Current Mood: thoughtful thoughtful

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Steel Magnolias and West Side Story - every time.
Which movie always makes you cry?

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